


Avoidance

by Dopple_Girl



Series: Deceit’s Aftermath [3]
Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Mentions of Deceit - Freeform, Post-Video: Can LYING Be Good??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 00:11:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13868943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dopple_Girl/pseuds/Dopple_Girl
Summary: You are meant to be strongYou are meant to know the answersYou are not designed for emotionYou are not designed for speculationBottle it up, don’t let go. Understand.





	Avoidance

“ _Breathe out, slowly, through your mouth. Feel the air, now stale, now used, rush from your lungs. Feel your body relax as it lets go of the air, freeing it from the temporary prison of your ribs._ ”

The voice of Janina Mathewson filled Logan’s head, the words washing over him through his headphones. He lay sprawled across the floor trying to focus on the melodious music and reassuring words but he just couldn’t. His mind was racing at speeds he didn’t want to comprehend because there was just so much he was thinking of that it was an insignificant detail in the grand scheme of things.

The latest encounter with Deceit left him more confounded that before. For one thing, how didn’t he see the snake before? Replaying the events over, the signs were clearly apparent that “Patton” was not who he was portrayed to be. And yet, it seems that Virgil had spotted the difference first. And speaking of Anxiety, what was the connection? Truly the two had some history that he’s yet to reveal. Virgil was, after all, one of the more negative faucets of Thomas’s personality that actually came much later then he, Roman, or Patton. And after all, Anxiety often fueled lies and instances of Deceit, so it is pos…

No, this was not the road he wanted to traverse. Virgil was not the villain; Deceit was. Deceit was not a side but rather a slippery parasite that was trying to manipulate his way back into being a major influence in Thomas’ life. He’s not in the closet, he hasn’t done anything majorly wrong, he has no need to be purposefully deceitful.

But what happens if Deceit tries to take over once more with another side? Roman is practically putty in his hands; it would make it easy for the Dark Side to take over even for a little. They would doomed if he tried to play Virgil, as he had the most knowledge on the subject. And what would happen if Deceit tried to portray him? What lies would usher out his mouth to break him and allow the devil to take over? What lies did he tell Patton?

 _Breathe in._  
 _Breathe out._  
 _Continue breathing, and listen_.

It was no use. Even the thought of him made Logan’s skin crawl. Even with the cassette playing in his ear, he could barely focus on words he felt he’s listen to twenty times over. It was like Deceit himself was whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Like if Logic turned around, there he would be feeding directly into his paranoia. The smirk, the alluring tone, the mocking mannerisms.

He arched his back and let the top of his head hit the floor to confirm. Nothing. But that means he could be in front of him now …

“What in Walt’s name are you doing?” Logan propped himself up on his elbows to see Roman standing above him, hands on his hips and a judging look on his face. He paused his podcast before responding.

“Did you just compare to the founder of Disney to …” Logan let the sentence hang on his tongue as Roman swiftly filled in the rest.

“But of course. Is he not? After all, he will eventually come back to once more rule all his company touches.” Logan was about to say something, before remembering who he was talking to. It was Roman: Thomas’ Creativity, Hopes, Dreams, and Fantasies piled into one man. Of course it would be him to believe in such myths.

“I’m just … going to … simply ignore your cryogenically frozen Walt Disney fallacy.” Logan muttered. “As to answer your earlier question, I was simply relaxing. I’m … oh where are my notecards when you need them.”

“You are not “good fam”, as your notecards would tell you.” Roman extended his hand, but the logical side shook his head. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, bringing his legs in as well so he sat with legs crossed Apple Sauce.  
“I’m actually very comfortable where I am, thank you very much.” Logan said, pushing up his glasses as he did so.

“Ugh! Fine.” Roman, very carefully, made his was down onto the floor so that he was on the same level as Logan. “You know I dislike this kind of thing.”

“And you don’t have to. I’m …” The words were left unsaid. He didn’t want to feed into Deceit; he did not need more power than he currently wounded. So the sentence was left floating.

“You don’t have to be apathetic all the time, Logan. It’s okay to show some empathy sometimes.” Roman flashed his signature smile, which did not help Logan feel better about his non-predicament that the former insisted was there.

“Roman, I am Logic. I do not entertain myself with emotions that the rest of you so fondly embrace.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have them.” The sentence made Logan freeze like an antelope in headlights. “What I’m trying to say is, it’s counterproductive for you to keep all these feelings to yourself. There’s no prejudice against you simply because you are the most rational of us all. You’re … well, I was going to say human but that’s not true. We’re all a part of Thomas. And wether you like it or not, we still act like him. We all have emotions.”

Logan didn’t respond. While he was impressed that Roman had decided to use his own tactic of rational thought against him, it was what he said that struck a chord. It’s what caused him to slide closer to Roman so that their legs were touching. What made his head fall onto his chest under his head and simply rest there. What encouraged him to cry and let loose all the pent up emotions he didn’t realize he had to release.

“I’m scared.” He choked out through sniffles. Roman handed him a tissue from a box he had conjured.

“I know you are, Logan. We all are.”

“It’s just … what if?” Two words. So much meaning and depth left unspoken. Because it’s a what if representing everything Logan was pondering: Deceit comes back, he takes over Virgil or Roman or Logan, we don’t know. “I don’t … don’t want this to happen again. I don’t want there to be what ifs.”

“It’s okay.” Roman muttered, rubbing his hands through Logan’s hair. “Now, I can’t promise that, but would Sherlock make you feel better?” Logan didn’t lift his head, but he simply nodded straight into Roman’s chest. “Okay, I’ll get the others. You make yourself comfy.”

Logan, with his support gone, fell headfirst into the beanbag Roman had left in his place. He wiped his cheeks of tears he didn’t even realize had began to stream. He situated himself into the beanbag, finally beginning to relax, when a newfound momentum on his back threw him forward onto the floor once more. Turns out it was simply Patton embracing him in a hug and a blanket.

“Logan! OMG Are you okay!?! Do you need a onesie?”

“Patton, I am perfectly capable of managing on my own. And no, I do not need …” There was a snap of fingers, and Logan was surrounded in a unicorn onesie. “… a onesie.”

“Alright, Patton. You can get off Logan now.” Roman said, practically pulling Morality off Logic. “Now, lets start Sherlock, shall we?”

“Of course. This is the BBC adaptation, correct?” Logan asked.

“But of course. What other one would there be in contention?” The opening scenes began, shots of war in Afghanistan beginning to play.

“Do we have to start at the beginning?” Virgil complained. “Can’t we skip to The Hounds of Baskerville or something?”

“You’ve actually watched Sherlock, Virgil?” Logan said. “I’m surprised.”

“Well, yeah. We only watch the first one and I kinda wanted to see the Moriarty story arc play out. Plus, the emotional manipulation in Hound is so well executed. I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite, but only because I haven’t watched the new season.”

“Well too bad, My Chemical Spoilsport.” Roman shot back. “We are watching A Study In Pink.”

“But we’ve seen this episode twenty-two times already? What’s the harm in simply skipping to the finale? The second episode is not the strongest, but the end is …”

“JUST SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE BENEDICT CUMBERBUTT!!”

**Author's Note:**

> The Podcast Logan is listening to in this is called Within The Wires. I highly recommend it along with anything else by Night Vale Presents. And feel free to leave feedback here or on any other installment in this series.


End file.
